Revived

I finally feel like writing again. I feel like it's been forever, even though it's only been a month. A whole month. Without the familiar comfort of my computer screen, or the lined pages of my journal, screaming for the scratch of my pen.

Two Face

So. After all this time, after months of hating the thought having to return to Ptown for the summer, I got what I wanted. A Burlington summer. So why do I feel so homesick all of a sudden? This morning I woke up and found myself missing Poultney. Yes, Poultney. And the sound of the breeze rustling the trees, or the birds chirping at ungodly hours of the morning, or the meowing of the little kittens, Abby and Asher, in my ear. I miss the smell of fresh cut grass, the moist, damp smell of the air right before it rains, and my mom's homemade cooking. I miss the smoky, timber, smell of the bonfire, or the earthy, damp smell of the Coggy's mud.


I miss the crisp popping sound of a can of Budlight, Coors, or Keystone from a pile of thirty-racks. The spicy, tangy taste of Captain Morgan and the acid, carbonation of the rum and coke combo. I miss the feel of the clay trodden beneath my feet, the feel of the warm ash against my skin when the bests decide it's time for a paint war, and the warmth of my friend's smiles, the joy in their eyes when I'm home, shield of love and comradery spilled out into the night. Most of all, I miss my friends.

Sure, we have our rough and tumbles, arguments, and stupid fights that never should happen in the first place. But at the end of the day, or days, we forgive each other, and roll right back into our routine. Call each other up, pile into the cars, and meet up with each other. Even if it's doing nothing but riding around, windows down, music blaring, it's enough. Just to enjoy each others company. Being all together is enough. I miss the days spent at green dump, the warm, smooth stone caressing my bare back as I lay clad in my bikini top, the waves splashing up against the rocks, spraying me with chilly water every so often. My friends scattered around my side. Pumpkin pacing back and forth, fiddling with his cell phone, Nikki at my side, she too enjoying the sun's caress, and Favorite jabbering a mile a minute in my ear.

I miss taking that first courageous dive off the wobbly dock, the water piercing my skin. Going into shock as wave upon wave of ice fingers wrap around me. Lips quivering, and teeth chattering, I struggle to swim to shore, my limbs lead in the cavern waters. I hear a yelp as Nikki follows my lead, belly flopping into the water. Splash. Down she goes. I would laugh, except I'm too cold to. I stumble upon the shore, the rocks jabbing my bare feet. Fumbling for a towel, I shake the water from my eyes. Shrowding myself in my towel, I turn towards the water. And smile. Nikki's stumbled up to my side and the boys yelp as they test the water. It's wonderful. That's what I miss, the simplicity.

Later, we'd cruise back towards the four corners, where we'd part ways, Nikki and I headed towards Poultney, the boys towards Rutland. We'd meet up with them later, after we'd showered, dressed, and done our hair. Naturally, we'd want to look cute without making it seem like we tried. Around 9 or 10, Nikki would roll into my driveway, and with a kiss, and "I love you" to my mother, I'd saunter out the door. Cradle into the passenger seat, exchange smiles with Nik, and off we'd go. Windows rolled down, and 97.1 or 102.3 rocking into air. We'd roll into Cumby's and get a $.79 "chillzone", though we'd really get Mountain Dew. We'd saunter back to the car, laughing at everything we saw. Sodas, a spritz of perfume, and cigs in hand (or in Nikki's, anyways) we pulled off into the steady flow of RutVegas traffic. We'd park parallel to Wilty's house, toss the cigarette out the window, and watch from the windows as the boys come swaggering down the stairs, trying to seem casual, cool, and sexy all at once. Like it was effortless, but of course, we knew they'd taken time to get all prettified for us. Nik and I would share a secret, knowing smile, laugh, and tumble out of the car to meet them at the sidewalk. Soon, we'd head inside for a wild night of pong and kings, or a cozy night spent with JD.

This is what I miss, those summer nights. As much as I love it here, part of me wants to go home.

Why, Yes, I am the Newbie

Today marked the first day of my summer as an office assistant. My day started at 5:30 this morning. What a bitch that was. Rolled out of bed, stumbled to the bathroom, and tried to shake myself awake with a maximum hot shower. Dry off, washed face, and stumbling back to the room 15 minutes later. I slipped into a classic black shirt, new jeans (which are too big, by the way), and jeans. Honey nut cheerios and Gatorade for breakfast, sitting cross-legged, shivering from the cold of the morning. And getting irritated as the minutes passed.

The chicks across the hall decided to shout, laugh, and bang around at 6:30 in the morning. Ever heard of respect? They were lucky I was up for work.

Say What?

I couldn't believe it. I'd finally made it happen. A Burlington Summer. This is exactly what I have been wanting for the last three years, but it never came true. Until now. The last couple of weeks of school, I decided that I didn't want to return to Poultney. Why would I? So I could work at a thankless, shitty job that I couldn't stand, get into trouble, drink and do unconstructive activities all the time? No, thanks. It wasn't a good environment for me to stay, so I got out. I finally sought refuge in the one place I consider stable, healthy, and where I thrive like nowhere else. Burlington is the place where I feel...at peace. It's where I have no negative memories, very little drama, and a place where I can be whoever I want to be. It's my space, and it's untainted. It's pure. It's amazing. I have come to call Burlington home, not just because this is where I've lived for the last couple of years, but because it's the environment that I've created and it's the place that I have made, and defined, as a home.

During the last weeks of April, I'd finalized plans for my summer internship with Tim Brooks. Starting in June, I'll be the Editorial Assistant for Champlain College Publishing Initiative. I'm not exactly 100% sure about what that all entails, but I'm curious, and excited, to find out. Along with my internship, I'll be balancing a full-time job as an office assistant for Champlain College Physical Plant, working 8:00-4:00, Monday through Friday. It's going to be killer to wake up before 8 AM everyday, but it's going to keep me busy. And being busy keeps me happy. Not to mention I'll be making pretty good bank this summer.

So, Thursday night while I'm packing my stuff for the morning, I get an email from my Human Rights professor. She wanted to know if I'd be interesting in working on a Human Rights project/panel for a conference in Texas in October. I'd help her throughout the summer on the project, and then come October I'd be heading off towards Texas. This is exactly what I want to study, what I want to do with my Professional Writing degree. So was I interested? There was only one answer. Absolutely.

So, that is the layout of my summer. In between internship, job, and projects, I will also be finishing my incomplete, making time for writing, knocking out a few good books, having time for fun, friends, food, and anything else that comes my way, and of course, exploring Burlington.

So, here goes. It promises to be an interesting summer.